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Pastoral 2012

Biblical Counsels For The Upbringing Of Our Children - II


  • Keep control over the home! Your children must know who is in control. We must also teach them to respect proper authority. Ephesians 6:1-4 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
  • Love your children unceasingly! Hug them as much as possible, the infants love it a lot. Let them know just how much you love them! Mothers are commanded to love their children in Titus 2:4, 5 – “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, . . .” Consider also the loving father in the parable of the “Prodigal Son” (Luke 15:11-24).
  • Commend them for good things they do. It delights a child a great deal and encourages him to do things that are right. Express your happiness to your children when they show good virtues and also when they progress in life. See the biblical pattern of commending children when they make progress in life – “My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine. Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things. Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off” (Proverbs 23:15-18).
  • Spend time enjoying your children. Get down to their level and see the world they see! It’s marvellous to bring out the child in Mum and Dad! Seek to have as much family time as you can. Have a “happy home”. Laugh together! Proper humour is good for the soul. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
  • Discipline your children whenever necessary! We believe the biblical teaching that children must be lovingly guided with patience, humility, compassion, kindness and taught right from wrong as early as possible. Parents who do not consistently and fairly deal with the “wrongs” in a child’s life will most likely face many years of misery.

    Proverbs 19:18 – “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” Likewise, we read in Proverbs 13:24, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
  • Keep your marriage together! Children need parents who love each other! If you have grown up in a home where your parents did not get along, whether divorced or not, you would have probably realised later in life the devastating results in your personal life. However, you can overcome this! Many are living proofs that it can be achieved. Parents must be role models to their children. What kind of marriage do you wish for your children? Show them how to be good spouses and parents. Be the example of a good Christian marriage! Your conduct reflects to your children your walk with the Lord! What are you teaching your children by your example? Remember, you are raising someone else’s future husband or wife, father or mother! Proverbs 20:7 promises that “the just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.”
  • Serve the Lord with your children in a biblically sound church. Encourage them to worship the Lord and participate in church activities.

The Lord hath commanded that parents should come with children before the Lord to worship. “Both young men, and maidens; old men, and children: let them praise the name of the LORD: for his name alone is excellent; his glory is above the earth and heaven” (Psalm 148:12-13). “Gather the people together, men, and women, and children, and thy stranger that is within thy gates, that they may hear, and that they may learn, and fear the LORD your God, and observe to do all the words of this law: and that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the LORD your God, as long as ye live in the land whither ye go over Jordan to possess it” (Deuteronomy 31:12-13).

  • If necessary, seek counsel from your pastors/elders that you may handle your challenges and struggles biblically. “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14).
  • Moreover, make sure you do not neglect your own relationship with God. How can you lead your family and children without it? “Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table” (Psalm 128:1-3).


Pastoral Exhortation